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What's a Shrink?

The first time one of my clients called me a "shrink", I cringed. Then, I realized that I've been called worse, much worse. I didn't even know why therapists were called "shrinks" at the time, but as I write this, Google and Wikipedia give me a variety of reasons including therapists helping you "shrink" your problems to being short for  "headshrinker" comparing the process of psychotherapy to primitive tribal practices of shrinking the heads of enemeis or the process of boiling human skulls and causing them to shrink.  I much prefer the first hypothesis.

Don't worry, there will be no head shrinking in this blog nor will it be filled with tons of research study results and psychological mumbo jumbo that no one understands. My goal of this blog is not shrinking, but rather to encourage growth within you, the community and myself while giving my perspective of what's going on in the world, our community, and helpful tips and advice on parenting and life in general.


The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America [ELCA], the largest Lutheran denomination in the U.S., has experienced the election of its first gay bishop.  And its first Native American, too.  Same guy.

Hats off to this denomination for taking a truly Christian stance on a topic so awkwardly argued by many church groups that "preach" the Gospel.  The ELCA has been losing members since it democratically voted in convention to allow openly-gay pastors to serve the church.  This is but a tiny step in the right direction for religious groups, but a necessary and important one nevertheless.  Why has it taken so long?  Why are there still so many "Christian" groups opposed to this?  Whatever happened to love?  Why all the fear?  Why all the judgment?  Why all the unenlightened "theology"?  Why the inhumane perspective about human beings? Thank you to the ELCA for its tiny ray of light in the darkness of the Dark Ages.

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Secret groups that control the U.S.

Americans are focused and diverted about political truth in the U.S. by the media coverage of disputes between Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals, etc.  Going unnoticed are the real people and societies that truly run the United States of America.  They are unknown to us, and the media never gives any coverage to the real powers that be in the U.S.

The closest thing to recognizing who decides about the U.S. happened when President Dwight D. Eisenhower warned us about the growing influence of the "military-industrial complex."  Since then the secret groups have only gotten stronger and more influential.

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Two upcoming Events at the North Shore Library

Tuesday Movie Fest

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Cabal? Connection? Happenstance?

Do you see any connection between any two or more of the following developments?

Prescott Bush, father/grandfather to two U.S. presidents, traded illegally with Nazi Germany and served on a German-Nazi corporation's board of directors.

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Human Growth and Development and Drug Education

I recently read an article that was posted on regarding the Mequon-Thiensville school district updating their human growth and development curriculum (you can find the exact article here: I think it's great that students will be receiving more and new information earlier and there will no longer be only abstinence being taught in older grades.  Research has showed us that the more knowledge and education students receive on contraception and sex education, when age appropriate,  the less likely they are to aquire an STI than those who are taught abstinence only.

This article made me think of a situation I frequently encounter in my therapy practice. There comes a point around 4th or 5th grade that clients come to me with severe anxiety. Now, I expect severe anxiety out of some of my clients, but I know that when schools are teaching human growth and development and drug education, the children I see who otherwise are able to manage their anxiety or don't typically have much at all, come into my office with a million questions and looks of worry and shock on their face. It leads to some pretty interesting and humorous conversations. "My body is doing what?" "What's going to happen?" "I think my Dad is an alcoholic because I see him drink a beer with dinner sometimes." I often recommend my client and parents work together to get the facts especially with drug and alcohol education. Usually, after the client researches alcohol and drug dependence and abuse and what it really means, they come back much more relaxed.

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Is Scott Walker without any empathy?

Put aside political opinions, and focus on the record of the current Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker.

One must ask if this son of a clergyman has any feelings or understanding for or about less fortunate people.  It has long been established that he is a lackey for wealth, greed, special profits.  If one thinks this is about political pespective, I call your attention to the phone call in which Walker thought he was speaking with one of the infamous Koch brothers.  In that conversation he revealed much about what motivates him and what his secret agenda is.  It is alarming, scary, and about as politically selfish as one can get.  He revealed he would do anything or follow any orders for the greedy few.

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Abortion, Adoption, etc.

There is no subject more fraught with crazy commentary, weird perspective, holier-than-thou positioning, biblical "interpretations," judgment, missing-the-point, screaming, demonstrating, ad infinitum than abortion.  It is hopeless to try and add objective perspective because there just isn't any.  Oh, how righteous we can get!

Women get pregnant for many reasons, decisions, accidents, poor judgment, family wishes, etc.  Some even get pregnant for good, solid, family reasons.

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Tuesday Movie Fest Quartet

Join us at the North Shore Library Tuesday, July 2nd at 6 p.m. for a free screenig of Quartet.

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Edward Snowden vs. Russ Feingold

The Fun House we call American Politics just added a new mirror.  Just when one thinks American politics couldn't get any dumber or more mixed up, along comes a topper.  This time the "holier-than-thou" persona has been assumed by liberals and progressives.  These "purists" are labeling Edward Snowden a hero. Huh?

Where the hell have all these progressives and liberals been?  Where were they when U.S. Senator Russ Feingold stood alone in the Senate and voted against the U.S.A. Patriot Act.  That, folks, is a hero.  Feingold was rewarded for his heroic action by being voted out of office. 

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Lies at the Pool

I went to the community pool a few weekends ago intending on reading a book and relaxing. Instead, I was sucked into working. Well... Working in my mind. I wasn't actually with a client so the other participants weren't aware of who I was or what I do for a living. The pool was extremely crowded and the only empty lounge chair was next to a family of four. Mom, Dad, and 2 daughters around 5 and 7 years old. Let me tell you, when I tell people I'm a psychotherapist, counselor, or shink, they always respond with the same thing "Uh oh! I hope you're not analyzing me." I usually respond with something like "Don't worry. I'm not working." But the longer I am in this field, the more difficult it is for me to not analyze, especially poor parenting.

So, here I am sitting poolside, trying to read, and all I hear are excuses from these parents next to me. Both of the girls asked their parents several times to come swimming and all the parents did was make excuses (lie) to their kids. Probably about 20 different variations of "I can't" or "I will in 5 minutes" came out of the parent's mouths. At one point, one of the daughters asked her Dad "Can you stop playing with your phone and come play with me?" At which point I laughed out loud. I'm pretty sure the Dad didn't appreciate that, but geez. It was getting a ridiculous. Each time one parent would come up with an excuse, the other parent would look at them with, what seemed to be, pride as if this was a fun game they agreed upon.

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